


There Isn't Enough Words In Six Million Languages To Describe How I Feel About You

by ScarletteWrites



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, It's Like The Droids Cartoon But With More FLESH, M/M, Pre-New Hope but this is the first time they're meeting, Pre-Star Wars: A New Hope, Rivals to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, because they're both assholes, kiiiinda? theyre aliens instead of droids but they're more human than their canon selves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-11-18 01:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18110429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletteWrites/pseuds/ScarletteWrites
Summary: Artoo Detoo, an astroshear engineer/pilot for the Rebellion finally meets his match when he's asked to escort Princess Leia's friend, See-Threepio, back to Alderaan.Alternatively: Artoo and Threepio go on a space adventure and fall in love along the way. Though, not before falling into hate with eachother.





	1. Why Does Everybody Want To Go To Jakku?

Artoo had met his fair share of strange folk in his time travelling the stars. Many of them would consider him strange, what with his blue skin, tail, odd eyes and refusal to speak Basic. But this guy, Artoo had come to realise, was the oddest person yet.

‘It’s just an escort mission, Artoo.’ The Princess had promised, ‘You’ll only have to put up with him for a few days.’

He was alien, but unlike Artoo it wasn’t _obvious_. His skin was just slightly off human hues with a slight unnatural shimmer to it, he was tall (though, from Artoo’s perspective most people were tall) and exceptionally lanky, and his ears came to a slight point. It only caught Artoo’s attention because the Princess hadn’t mentioned the man he’d be escorting was an alien. 

And he was really annoying. Something which the Princess  _ also  _ forgot to mention.

However, Artoo just resigned himself to keep his head down and ignore the bastard until they were back on Alderaan, where he could just dump him on the Princess and just get back to his work. Or sleeping. Or literally anything that didn’t involve this guy.

The blonde, tall man - who Artoo had nicknamed ‘Goldy’ after forgetting his name - was prattling on, something about the local culture and a celebration. Artoo mostly tuned him out, though his voice had an irritating way of wiggling into his mind. Artoo was tempted to snap at him, but that idea fizzled out on his tongue. Even if he did shout, this palace brat wouldn’t understand a word and it would end in them both being frustrated and angry. So let Goldy think Artoo could tolerate his presence.

Both of them were moving quickly through the streets of Jakku, with Artoo occasionally having to glance back to make sure Goldy was still following him (Artoo was almost tempted to grab his hand and just drag him, like a child).  Goldy was wearing a hood with a facemask, whereas Artoo was wearing a shawl that only covered his Rebellion symbols on his upper arms. The sand was crawling it’s way into Artoo’s prosthetic limbs, making the already capricious alien more irritable.

So when Artoo looked back and saw Goldy was talking to some rando, in the middle of the crowded marketplace, he was fully prepared to commit murder. The astroshear stomped up to Goldy, prepared to give him a verbal lashing - language barrier or not - when he paused. Whoever Goldy was talking to had a tight grip on his arm, and it looked like he was trying to pull away. Worse still, Goldy looked _scared._

Artoo rolled his pupiless eyes, placing on his shockstick (which was attached to his upper thigh) as he sauntered over to the pair.

_ “Hey!” _ He called out in Astro. Both Goldy and the guy turned to look at him.

Goldy looked relieved, which confused Artoo, “There, this is my friend. As I said I must be-”

The guy went to smack Goldy, but Artoo was faster - jamming his shockstick into the guy’s chest, causing him to tumble over.

_ “Anyone else got a problem?!” _ Artoo called out to the crowd that was watching them intently. They all seemed to disperse and return to their business once called out on their staring.

Goldy was wiping sand from his arm, “The people here have no manners.” He huffed, before turning to Artoo and offering a genuine smile,  _ “Thank you.” _

Artoo’s pulse stopped, where did this guy learn Astro?!

“I already informed you that I’m fluent in over six  _ million  _ forms of communication.” Goldy walked off, flashing Artoo as smug smirk, “Didn’t Princess Leia tell you?”

A translator. The Princess had stuck him in closed quarters, for four days, with a flarping translator.

Artoo snarled as many curses as he could, following behind Goldy.

_ “You don’t even know where we’re going, you overgrown tree!” _ He shouted.


	2. My Name Is...

They’d managed to get back to Artoo’s ship, though not without several arguments and the two of them getting lost. Goldy had gone off in a huff once they’d gotten inside. Fine by Artoo. Any time away from him was time better spend.

Artoo detached his right leg first, tipping it upside down to get some of the sand out. Artoo tutted when he looked inside, just as he’d suspected. The sand was clogging up the joints, he was going to have to take both of his legs apart and put them back together once he’d gotten rid of the sand.

Artoo placed his head in his hands, why couldn’t the Princess just sent Windy. Or literally anyone other than  _ him  _ \- the guy with the prosthetic legs.

He gave up his moping, deciding to get back to work. They wouldn’t be able to leave before nightfall, so there wasn’t really any rush now they were safely in Artoo’s ship.

 

See-Threepio had never met a more obnoxious, rude and infuriating man than his guide. Honestly, the astroshear acted like he’d never held a conversation with anyone before! He hadn’t even introduced himself, which left Threepio calling him ‘the guide’ or ‘you’ all day.

Threepio sighed, putting down his book. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to enjoy it as long as he was thinking about his guide. Threepio was not a man that often thought of violence, though right now he wanted nothing more than to strangle the little man.

He rubbed his eyes - he’d spent far too long undercover on Jakku, only to find next to nothing to aid the Rebellion. It made him feel useless. Threepio wasn’t a fighter, nor a technician, he was a private tutor. But since joining the Rebellion, he’d wanted to help Princess Leia and her family in any way he could. So he was often tasked with infiltrating more obscure or unaligned groups under the guise of a translator, and either swaying them to the Rebellion’s side or gathering as much intel as he could about the Empire. The only problem was Threepio didn’t do so great under pressure, but Leia assured him that it only made him look more ‘real’ in their eyes.

Either way, Jakku had gone rather south towards the end, and Threepio had feared for his very life when Tigg had spotted him as they were leaving. He wasn’t expecting the confrontation and it had caught him completely off guard. That moment keep swirling around in his head, his guide jamming that weapon into Tigg’s chest. Threepio had been too shocked to do anything, even move, but his guide had come back for him. Threepio stood up, maybe he’d been a little hard on the shorter man.

Threepio headed towards the control center, where he assumed Artoo had ran off to. He was rather surprised to find the place empty. Confused, Threepio closed his eyes and listened intently. He could hear faint clanging from a door towards the back of the ship. Threepio followed the noise.

 

The door to Artoo’s room was open - since Artoo was not used to locking it. Threepio had turned round the corner, and pressed himself into the wall once he noticed the door was open. He watched as Artoo disassembled his leg piece by piece, his usually soul expression replaced by one of concentration but his features were far more relaxed. Threepio allowed himself to smile, just a little.

_ “If you’re done gawking.” _ Artoo said disdainfully, not even looking up from his work,  _ “Tell me why you’re here.” _

Threepio huffed, suddenly not interested in apologising at all, “I was simply coming to ask you when we’re leaving. The sooner we’re away from Jakku, the sooner we are out of danger.”

Artoo laughed,  _ “Can’t leave till nightfall, Goldy. Unless you wanna get shot out of the sky.” _

“I suppose that would be better than spending four days with the likes of you.” Threepio snapped back, “I also have a name, you know.”

_ “Funny.” _ Artoo replied,  _ “I have one too. Weird, isn’t it?” _

Artoo laughed again when Threepio rolled his eyes, though when it seemed like the taller man was about to walk off in a huff again Artoo spoke.

“My name’s Artoo Detoo.” He gave a shrug, “Or just Artoo. What about you, Goldy?”

Threepio straightened his back, puffing out his chest in a manner that was almost comical to Artoo, “I am See-Threepio, human-terrestrial relations.”

Artoo took his hand, and expecting the shorter man to shake it Threepio allowed it. Before Threepio could react, Artoo pulled the hand towards him sharply, causing Threepio to stumble. Artoo kissed the hand softly. Realising what had happened, Threepio yanked his hand away from Artoo blushing a furious gold. Artoo was still laughing when the translator had stormed out, hissing all kinds of curses in all kinds of languages.

Oh yeah. Artoo was going to make the best out of this situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i wanna write a slowburn threetwo  
> also me: what if............artoo kisses threepios hand.....................but hes like joking so i can keep the tag  
> also yeah human terrestrial relations doesnt make much sense but hey neither does human cyborg so FUck you star wars canon

**Author's Note:**

> literally just had them start out on jakku for the dumb chapter title. thats literally the only reason.  
> anyways these two have been my otp since i was four years old and i finally get to vent my feeling abt these dumb, mean droids.  
> also, since it might not get mentioned in the fic, threepio is a firrerreo. by which i mean, i had an idea of what i wanted alien!3po to look like and stumbled ass backwards into a canon race that fitted _perfectly_. hes just a space elf. thats literally his whole deal.  
> i wanted r2 to be more alien, because, well. he's less humanoid than 3po as a droid and i wanted it to translate into their... humanization? ALIENizations? ...astroshears have a sort of. intrisic connection to technology. so they make really great engineers and fighters. they're also SUPER RARE, so astro isnt a very common language. also i know a lot of ppl have human!r2's use sign language and thats really cool but not what im going for. but srsly every humanisation ive seen of these two is great.


End file.
